When you love a person, you are giving them the power to hurt you.

Picture copyright of Nicky Lee

Sometimes...it would be nice if my thoughts came out as words instead of tears.
Or if I could speak as well as I type. (is hyper online)

Years of experience has proven that I am quite incapable of getting angry at people who are close to me. When I argue, I always end up in tears (even though i'm right).

Don't be mistaken, I'm perfectly capable of scaring the hell out of salespersons who annoy me with bad services. But when it comes to people i know, I just either keep quiet(to avoid further conflict) or defend myself with sarcasm...or try arguing with wet cheeks.

It hurts to see those that I love so dearly getting upset. That's why i tend to just shut up and pray that the tense moment will just go away.

It's not like i can win a fight where my words are like a double-edged sword. They cut both you and me up. So my darlings, please don't torment me with this weakness. I really can't fight back fairly.

Speaking of sarcasm, most of my friends would know by now that I'm naturally sarcastic.
It comes naturally when i'm scared, annoyed or plain bored.
Confused yet? Well, it's like this...

I don't like people noticing that I'm sad or afraid or whatever. So i tend to drop sarcastic remarks to draw away the attention or to mislead them.
E.g.: "I am incapable of feeling pain unlike you oversensitive creatures..."

I did say that I rarely get angry but I do get annoyed pretty easily. Especially with inconsiderate people and trust me...this world does not lack those types. Sometimes i exhibit sarcasm by words and sometimes by actions. Here's an example of sarcasm by action:

During a dinner outing, inconsiderate person D was sitting amongst us. As we were having some indian food that night, our indian friends naturally used their hands to dine. D started saying things like, "Don't you think that eating with hands is dirty? Why do you indians do that? It's just so dirty...blahblahblah" to the indian girl next to him, who was ironically, using her hands. And he continued with the nonsense until MY order came.

So naturally sarcastic me, who was sitting in front of him, slowly and gracefully placed my cutlery down and...USED MY HANDS (chill guys, it was indian bread not rice).

This is pretty subtle. But i hope he got the hint. If he didn't, then the Big-Guy-Up-There must have been mass producing in the numbskull category.

Sarcasm when I'm bored...well, that's just me throwing in sarcastic jokes to lighten up the atmosphere and hopefully no one got offended. I mean, it's a joke guys...take a chill pill. (=__=)

There has been only 2 other ppl so far in my circle of friends who can understand and beat me at sarcasm. Hail to them brothers. I lost every single time in a battle of words. T_T

So, to conclude this very long post...to my dear friends, if I sometimes seem cold or act nonchalant, it's not because your affections are slipping through me...it's just that I don't know how to return them properly.

You will rarely see me cry, laugh out loud and you will almost always see me smile.

This is who I am, and I doubt I'll change much. It is a kind of pride that I was born with and grew to love. I am passionate about my ideals because it makes me different.

I will perhaps change as time goes by but do not expect an overnight transformation.

Change is good...but only when necessary. And I won't change just to keep up with majority's ideals.

Besides...

I'm more comfortable being prim and proper than letting loose like a wild goose.
<sarcastic joke...i don't mean to insult anyone.>

We live by our own ideals. We are beings meant to be unique.

Song Collection 17: Hiru No Tsuki - Akino Arai

Hiro no Tsuki (Midday Moon)

It has always been that I'm attracted to simple soft songs like this.
There's an air of mystique to it that draws me.

Of course, many of my friends will fall asleep listening to it.

I'm just not cut out for all that metal-punk-rock stuff. *sips tea*

====================================
Lyrics
====================================

oto no nai mahiru
One soundless mid-day,

kaze ha tada akarui
the wind was so cheerful.

sukoshi nemutasou ni hanabira ga yureta
Flower petals sway in the breeze
as if they were sleepy.

nani ge nai kono omoi
This serene feeling...

nee, hito ha donna kotoba de yondeiru no
Tell me, what's the word people use for it?


shiroi suna no tsuki toji kometa hanashi o
Tell me a story that's locked away
in the white-sand moon.

hikari furasu you ni kikasete ne sotto
Let me hear it
as gently as light shining down...

itsuka shiru toki ga kuru no?
Will the time come?

mune no itami o
when you know the pain in my heart

soshite ima yori yasashiku naru no ne
Then you'd be able to be gentler than you are now.

atatakai kono omoi
Such a warm feeling...

nee, hito ha donna namae de yondeiru no
Tell me, what's the name that people give to it?

shiroi suna no tsuki mabushikute mienai
So bright it can't be seen, like a white-sand moon

tooi mirai no koto kikasete ne sotto

let me hear of the distant future, softly.

TheStarViewer: All a child needs is love and affection

We've all heard the news about old folks being abandoned at nursing homes etc etc.
I find this particular write-in unique and true to the writer's feeling.

We have too many hypocrites in the current society.
Pointing fingers without a moment of hesitation and condemning people without hearing reason...

All this to make themselves feel 'virtuous' above others.
As Jesus once said, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."

============================================

I REFER to “Reluctant to add to kids’ burden” (The Star, July 29).
I just want to say that the writer is the kind of parent I would never abandon when he is old.

Unfortunately, I cannot say the same about the one I have.
I was brought up in an average family. Although I never had many luxuries in life, I had all the basic necessities for survival.

Most people would say I am lucky compared with many other people. I never demanded any material things from my parents. All I asked for was love, respect and some self-sacrifice for the betterment of the next generation.

Instead, I would come back to incessant insults of my stupidity, psychological abuse and discouragement in life. My mother left my father and my stepmother is the same as my father. As they say, “birds of a feather, flock together”.

Now, I am a successful engineer with my own happy family and all the material things I need and want. I cannot be bothered to go back and visit, even though they live less than 10 minutes’ drive away.

I know there are irresponsible people who abandon their loving parents and these people are despicable. More often than not, I have seen that most old folks who have been abandoned have another side to the story.

Irresponsible men who abandoned the family and gambled their salaries away, and parents who abused their children, either physically, emotionally or mentally.

Let this be a warning to all parents. Do not think that providing a roof, food, clothing, mobile phone and a Playstation is enough. Sometimes, all a child needs is some love and attention even though their physical life is lacking.

A child will always forget that he was once hungry but will never forget that he never had a sweet childhood and love from his parents.

Now, I swear to my child that no matter how tired I am, I will always help with his lessons, play with him, love him, encourage him to be the best that he can be in life, and help him to the extent that I can afford to.

I swear to be a good father to my son, the kind of father that I never had. I will never force him or remind him to take care of me when I am old and whithered.

My child owes me nothing. He did not ask to be born into this world as my child. The burden shall never be on my child.

To all parents out there, it is time you realise this. Your child is not your insurance policy. It is your responsibility.

If my child takes me in when I am old, I would be grateful. Maybe then, I would have done something right in this world before I leave.

SOR CHAI,
USJ, Selangor.

==============================================

Please don't flame me for posting this or the writer for writing it.

It is only natural for people to think the way they do because of the circumstances that they are in. I'm not entirely supportive of his views but as i have said, i may think differently if i had gone through his childhood instead of my very own blessed one.

It was after reading this article that I am reminded of how much love my parents have for me and my brother and how they have sacrificed so much of their lives to complete ours.

And the award for "Most adorable Diner" goes to...

These guys...



I think if i ever have guinea pigs...they're gonna end up overweight.
Because i will keep feeding them...just to see those adorable chewing moves.

Runner Up



I used to have syrians too. They really do stay still when eating!
You can touch them, prod them and even scratch their heads and they will continue eating.

Cute little gluttons. <3

Death Note for MJ

I don't mean to disrespect him but...

This is just too good to miss. Click on image for a clearer view.

Credit goes to Neodusk. His site is http://neodusk.deviantart.com/