*Warning: This is a personal post, so ignore if uninterested*
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I can hear the sound of doors being opened, things being moved and footsteps coming from the other side of this wall.*
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But my eyes remain shut as a heavy presence weighs me down.
I am both awake and asleep. Drifting between consciousness, I recalled many things. Most of which are memories of recent events.
I don't dream anymore lately as I don't sleep very well.
And it makes me a little sad...
I hear my phone alarm and it gets louder. Loud enough for annoyance to overcome the dreary feeling i had earlier.
Turn off?
I rest down my mobile and sat upright. I can hear again clearly, the sound of others going about on their everyday lives. As if their body fuels itself on just air.
What is it that they look forward to everyday?
What is their motivation?
It is really motivation that drives a person? Or is it something else?
I know mine clearly and yet...I still feel very lost at times.
In the presence of others, i try to keep up.
My world forces itself to move along with them.
But this only exhausts me further when I'm dealing with my own affairs.
When the attention is no longer with me, I drift off once again.
My smile fades and i gaze unfocused.
Around me is a multitude of people filled with warmth.
Be it their hearts or just their smiles.
And amidst them I stood...a lone figure, cold as stone.
Someday, I will live like them.
But until then, I will be envious of them...
...
It's one of those days again.
Some part within me has frozen over and I can't thaw it back.
And I don't think anyone else can either.
All I can do now is hope that someday, I can feel the warmth of the people and everyday things around me...once again.
